Fallen angel
by AmethystWaves
Summary: two months ago Logan had Broken up with James, giving him no reason... because of that everyone of his friends Hate him.. they think he broke up with James Just to go be with someone else... but what if it's not true... Jagan and a little bit of Kames... WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH...!


**HI... so It's my first Fanfic... and I'm not a really good writer so... please be nice...**

**I don't own big time rush... and I hope you enjoy... **

**Warning: Character death and Boy/boy love... **

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Logan stood in the corner of the room, watching James kiss Kendall. He missed James... He did... They broke up about two months ago, when He said he didn't deserve James and didn't give any other reason... "let's watch a romantic movie... Shall we..." Kendall asked and James nodded, pulling the blonde so he would lean on him comfortably.

Logan sank down on the ground, his back connecting with the cold wall behind; making him shiver… he just sat there watching them, still remembering when he was the one cuddling with James... the one kissing his soft lips… the one who held his warm heart…

And now... He had lost him… in an instant, in a second, in a hear bit… in a heart breaking moment… but maybe now even when his heart was crushed in million pieces… He was happier... for James… He was in better hands... Now he had a boyfriend he could spend his life with... Grow old, go to parties, and adopt kids maybe... He could get love from Kendall...

Logan knew he couldn't give James love... Not anymore... Not now… He would just give him misery and sadness... just heart break and sorrow… He loved James... He did… He didn't want his love to fall in a tunnel with no end by spending his time with him...

The clock was ticking and Logan knew he was late, but he could miss where he wanted to go, just to watch James caress Kendall's hair... He could spend all his life just sitting there staring at those beautiful hazel eyes locking with Kendall's... Wishing he wasn't so selfish two months ago… too selfish to think he would be happy if he didn't see James break…

"James... Can you help me with these fruits?" mama knight asked carrying two heavy bags filled with colorful fruits to the brim. James sighed before kissing Kendall's head, smiling sweetly. Then he walked towards the front door, giving Logan an angry glance, just to break his shattered heart even more, knowing he made James angry by breaking up with him… he had made everyone angry… no one would talk to him… not more than "yes" and "no" while giving him an angry glance, probably thinking he was pathetic… well… he was…

It hurt so much…didn't James see that Logan was doing it for him? Couldn't he see the pain Logan was feeling by losing him?

"I'll be at our room" Kendall called out to James before walking away smiling.

Logan stood slowly... His heart pounding painfully with every glance to James... He needed to say something… He needed to talk to Kendall... He needed to make sure James was loved... he needed it… He did… So he slowly fallowed the blonde before standing at the door thinking how he could open up the conversation. He took a deep breath then announced his presence.

"umm hi..." Logan said in a small voice as Kendall gave him a frustrated look "what is it Logan? I don't have time..." he snapped in a tired tone, making the little brunette want to run away and cry... Knowing all of his friends were against him... everyone hated him… they did…

"I just wanted... You to promises me something..."

"what?" the blonde boy frowned.

"t...to take care of James... He... He means so much... Just be sure you won't hurt him... the way I did... the way I would..." Logan whispered, feeling like he was about to cry.

"you left him for nothing Logan... God…You're pathetic, Lo... You broke his heart... Just to go gaga over someone else maybe... I do Love him Logan... More than you think... Much more than you... I love him more than to just break up with him over nothing... At least I would give him reasons... You didn't even care enough to do that... Now you came here telling me he meant so much to you... You're awful Logan... Look at you..." Kendall yelled at Logan making small tears run down his pale cheeks... His small broken heart throbbed more as he sobbed slowly...

"so... I... I... I guess... It's... Good... That... I think... My work here is...done... I... I'll leave you now..." the smaller boy stuttered before walking out, shaking with aggressive sobs... He felt so bad... So broken... So hurt... He wanted to die... he did…He walked into the kitchen with heavy sobs as he felt a wave of nausea coming... He passed James who gazed at him through anger. It felt like his glares were burning holes into him...

He opened the bathroom door and slammed it close before bending and vomiting all he had for lunch in the toilet... He stood there with his hands on his knees for a moment before he wiped his mouth a bit then sat on the floor, feeling the cold stone sooth his pains a little... He let a few more tears drop from his Ivory cheeks before closing his eyes, appreciating the darkness that came over...

***A few hours later***

James flipped over channels; it's been a few hours since Kendall had drift off to sleep... Carlos was out of town with Katie for some shopping reason... So he just had to flip over channels, feeling bored and tired... It's been two months... two heart breaking months since Logan had broken up with him, asking if they could be friends... he rejected him... He felt like he hated the little brunette... He left him... destroyed him… mocked him… With no reason... No sorrow... nothing… How could someone be so cruel? It's been over 6 hours he hadn't seen the brunette, but he didn't care where he was now... he didn't care what he was doing… Not anymore… Not after what he did to him...

James stood slowly, looking at the clock... 8:30... It's been a while he was all on his own… Mama Knight had left 2J about 7, promising she would be back soon… she was about to go pick up Katie and Carlos... cause they were running late…

James looked over the clock again… he decided it was late and he should go to sleep now it was gonna be a long day tomorrow... So he walked in the dark kitchen and to the bathroom door to brush his teeth... the tall teen sighed before opening the door, gasping at the picture that came to his view...

Logan was lying on the ground, sweaty and pale… But that wasn't the reason that made James scream loud enough to wake Kendall up... there pool of blood and vomit in the toilet... Logan's white shirt and jeans where painted red as well as his small Ivory hands... His pale face was colored with the red blood coming from his nose and mouth...

James was fast to flush the toilet before checking Logan's extremely weak pulse, running out to call for help... He reached the phone, his hands were shaking and numbers seemed to be dancing before his eyes...

"what is it James..." he heard Kendall ask before gasping "what happened James... Are you hurt?" Kendall asked, watching James's bloody shirt, hand and red tearful eyes.

James didn't have the strength to answer so he continued calling 911 as Kendall walked to bathroom… there was a small scream before he came out with a shocked face.

"hello... Um... Please... One of the..." he paused, tears rolled down his cheek as he was about to say ''one of the people here''... Logan maybe was mean and unfaithful but… with what had happened he couldn't bring himself calling him that…He sniffed and changes his sentence "one of my friends... Is unconscious... And there's blood coming from his mouth and nose... And... And he had vomit up blood... I don't know how much he's been like this...please… help… Thank you..." James ended the call, hoping they were fast enough to save Logan... He couldn't help but feel that this was something related to them breaking up...

"I'm so sorry... But it's leukemia... Cancer... Stage four... Mr. Mitchell came here few times... I'm surprised you were not aware..." the doctor said calmly to James who was crying silently...

"for... How long did he know..." he asked tears gathering more in his eyes.

"it's been about two months... Maybe a little over two months... I'm really sorry... But I don't think if he can pull over to night..." the doctor answered sadly before walking out, leaving a guilty Kendall and sad James on their own.

"he... Broke up with me... Cause... He... He had cancer..." James whispered to Kendall while staring in the air "and I didn't care enough to search why... I was too Idiot to know he loved me more than to leave me like that... I was so stupid... And the last conversation we had, was that fight... When I told him to get lost as he asked me if we could still be friends..." his last words choked into sobs…

"the last conversation we had was... I told him he was awful and... Pathetic to leave... You and that... He didn't love you..." Kendall said burying his head in his hands, crying "I didn't even said goodbye to him... I'm such a bad friend... I didn't notice he was suffering from cancer... And I shouted... I blamed him... For his last minutes... Now... He can't hear me... Even if I want to ask for forgiveness... He won't be hearing..." Kendall screamed between sobs before running out to call his mom.

"Logie... Can you hear me baby?" James asked like the times they were lovers and he used to wake Logan up when he wanted to sleep more on Sundays...

"hey... I mean... Look... It's been a long time since we... Talked... And... I just wanted to say I... I'm so sorry... Not caring...Not hearing… Not being with you when you needed me most... Not being with you when you were spending your last hours on earth...I still love you Logie... So much..." he hugged Logan just to feel something in his pocket... It was a paper... It was full of written lines that were covered with dark squares... But some lines were visible... and it showed… it was a paper from Logan's diary...

"dear diary... I don't know how I'm going to live without him... I feel like my heart has been destroyed... Today, I went to hospital to check why my nose was bleeding much and why I felt nausea and head throbbing... I even vomit up blood twice today... That's actually the main reason I went there... They told me it was cancer... leukemia actually... Stage four... That made me fear I would die before I get to tell how much I loved James... But when I asked how much time I had, they told me 1 to 3 months... God... You don't know how much it hurts to know you found your love and then they tell you, you just have three months top to live with him... When I walked home... I figured something out... James would crack if I told him... He would try anything to help me... Then I would leave him with no hope... I had to make sure he was in good arms... I know Kendall loves him secretly...and I hope they become happy together... I'll try to set them up as much as I can... I just hope James wouldn't keep hating me in these three months... I asked him to be friends but he told me to get lost... Man that sentence hurt... I'm sure I'll cry to sleep for weeks... But I hope he would let me be his friend for my last days living..." James finished reading the note, tears running down as he sobbed uncontrollably... Logan wished to be friends in his last days and he refused... He wanted to be loved but he threw him away...

James looked at the note for a moment… not daring to believe what the note was saying… this couldn't be happening to him… he slowly kissed the note and let out an angry scream just before tears begun streaming down his face… he looked at the note in his shaky hands again, this wasn't what was supposed to happen… this happened in cartoons… in movies… in games… this happened to other people… but please… just not him… he couldn't lose him… not like this… not without making him smile just for another minute… all of his anger was gone, everything… he couldn't bear not having the smaller kid in the house… he couldn't bear going in Carlos' room, finding it so… empty… without His Logan… the heart monitor beeped loudly, making James' heart fall... Showing a dead flat line... He cursed loudly before he bent down, shaking and kissed Logan's cold lips, expecting to receive a hot breath as they used to kiss... But he didn't... He covered Logan's unmoving chest with the covers, inside he wanted for his little chest to rise and fall slowly just like when they used to sleep, cuddling... But he didn't receive anything... he just lay there motionless, making James feel he was just sleeping… but he knew this time he would never wake up… and he could never see Logan's eyes shine with excitement… or feel his small hear bit fast when he had nightmares and ran to him… and he could never hear him smile and laugh at the simple jokes he made… man he would miss his everything,… he caressed the ring on Logan's ice cold finger which he gave him on their second date...

He heard a nurse open the door before immediately calling for help... He knew he would be pushed out in matter of seconds, so he looked one last time on the words on the ring which said "Logan and James forever" before turning to leave...

He took the last glance at his Logan, sleeping peacefully... pale like an angel… fallen from the sky...

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**AGH! don't kill me for killing Logie... I'm too young to die!**

**Pleaaaaase review and tell me if you liked it or not...**


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